Attack of the Rampant Fluff!
by The Reader is Now Blind
Summary: Something that reminds people of all V/H fans' stories...the rating may be too low, but I'm not sure. Please R/R!


Ok, I admit that I'm a true die hard V/H fan (and if I read anything on the contrary, I'll scream), but you gotta admit the stories have sorta lost their originality. So here's to those who think it it's just a LITTLE out of hand. XD  
  


**Attack of the Rampant Fluff!**

  
  
"Hitomi, I miss you," Van said as he stared out into the stars. Suddenly, there was a reply, "I miss you too, Van, but I can't leave my family and friends."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Pretty please?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Pretty please with a naked me on top?"  
  
"Ok! But how?"  
  
"Hrm...," Van thought for a second before coming up with the ever creative idea, "How about I bring you back with the plot hole-er, I mean, pendant you left me."  
  
"Van, that's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?"  
  
"It always seems to be me for some reason. Anyways, here it goes." Van clasped the pendant in his hands, it glowing brighter and brighter as he wished, "Please, all I want is Hitomi to be with me on Gaea. This is a real serious wish, not like that time I wanted to have Allen's ability to pick up women."  
  
"You what?" Hitomi asked as she floated down into Van's arms. Van smiled in relief as he kissed her deeply. "Nothing. Gods, I'm so happy you're here." Actually, because they were kissing each other, it was more like, "Nufing. Bobs, 'm ho appie hat or ere."  
  
Hitomi pulled away, tears of joy in her eyes, or maybe it was her contacts bothering her. "I'm happy too Van, but now what?"  
  
"How about we got to room and make wild monkey love, announcing to my country tomorrow that you're my new queen, despite the fact that you're not royalty and not even from this world?"  
  
"You hunk, you sure know the right words that make a girl feel sexy."  
  


~*~*~*~*~Pretty Divider!~*~*~WOO! FEAR THE PRETTINESS!!~*~*~*~*~

  
  
After having the best consentual sex they had ever had in their own lives, Van and Hitomi snuggled, staring blissfully into each others eyes.  
  
"I love you Hitomi."  
  
"I love you Van."  
  
"I love you more."  
  
"No, I love you more."  
  
"NO, I love you more!"  
  
"I love you times a thousand!"  
  
"I love you times an infinity!"  
  
"I love you times an infinity plus one!"  
  
"How about we just say we love each other equal amounts?"  
  
"Aww, I love you just for saying that."  
  
"I love you-"  
  
Just as the reader was about to sue me for teeth decay from all the sappiness, the entire Fanelia castle shook with a tremendous force. Hitomi clung to Van and cried, "What was that?"  
  
"How would I know?!"  
  
"Well, go check it out!"  
  
Grumbling, Van hopped out of bed, put on his pants, and grabbed a baseball bat. "I haven't even married her yet, and already I'm whipped. Krch krch!"  
  
The young king cautiously stepped towards the door and opened it slightly, but the entire door was pushed off it's hinges as Van disappeared beneath the pink substance leaking from the hallway. Hitomi gasped in horror, and screamed,"VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaa.....gotta...catch...my...breath...oh...good...se cond...wind.... aAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Mmmmmmmmmmmpppppppphhhhhhhhh!!" was Van's reply, and his head broke through the layer of....something....that was filling Van's room. Hitomi reached into the moving mass to pull Van back onto the bed, only to discover it was fluffy. Not the good kind of fluffy, like fluffy bunnies, clouds, or the installation that goes into your attic, but fluffy that could kill easily with it's....fluffiness.  
  
"Van, what are we going to do!! It's rampant fluff due to us loving each other so much!"  
  
"What can we do to stop it?!"  
  
"Maybe say things that would make us not love each other?"  
  
"Like the other realtionships we've had, according to other fanfiction writers?"  
  
"Sounds good to me! I've been with Amano, Allen, Dilandau, Folken, and some made up guys. You?"  
  
"Supposedly, I've been with Allen, Dryden, Merle, Celena, Folken, and Millerna."  
  
"Eww! You've been with Millerna?"  
  
"There's some sicko writers out there."  
  
"Never mind that, think of other things! I had practically forgotten you while back home!"  
  
"I'm supposed to marry the princess of Basram tomorrow!"  
  
"I've been thinking lewd thoughts about my friend Yukari!"  
  
"I really wish I had Allen's way with the ladies!"  
  
"I played with myself in the shower thinking of somebody else but you!"  
  
Hitomi noticied their plan was working as the fluff began to slowly wither away. "Van, it worked."  
  
"I've been using Escaflowne as a full body vibrator!"  
  
"Van, you can stop....wait, you what?"  
  
"Nothing!"  
  
Sighing, Hitomi leaned against the headboard. "Glad that's over, but do you know what that means Van? We can't be really lovey-dovey any more."  
  
"But I love you honey!"  
  
"Don't call me honey."  
  
"I can't help it darling."  
  
"No darling either."  
  
"Why not, sweet cheeks?"  
  
"Because it might come back, and next time I'll personally throw you to it. But I do like the name sweet cheeks."  
  
And so the king of Fanelia and his future queen fell asleep together, but forever wary of the the dangers of....THE RAMPANT FLUFF!!  
  


The End....or is it?


End file.
